The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Opression

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression?

                A recent situation had happened which mad me very upset.  My husband and I were at a restaurant and we were sitting at the bar waiting for our neighbors to arrive.  Our neighbors are a gay couple and we were saving them two seats.  There were no other people waiting to sit but when our friends arrived, the bartender told us that we could not save the seats that they were for “other people, other couples.”  I was horrified and asked him what that was supposed to mean because I did not see anyone else waiting.  He said “you know other couples.”  My husband could knew that I was upset and I was trying to make it so or friends could not hear.  My husband took my arm and told the bartender that we understood and would be taking our business elsewhere.   

•In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

                The bartender diminished equity by implying that our friends, a gay couple should not sit at the bar, that they were not worthy of sitting there.   

•What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

                I was horrified, I felt so upset and embarrassed that anyone would say that.   

•What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

                I feel like I knew what I wanted to or should have said but that I was so in shock that I just froze.  I would still not have stayed and given them our business but I wish that I would have calmly made the point that the seats at the bar are for any person or couple.  Our friends did hear what was said and I was glad that we were able to have a genuine conversation with them at a different restaurant.