Relationship Reflection

My Husband

I met my husband Adam in Newport, Rhode Island through a mutual friend and we quickly became best friends.  He is in the Navy and was there for Department Head School. The more we hung out with each other, with our friends and talked about everything the closer we became.  We started dating and eventually we got married in San Diego, California.  I cannot imagine my life with anyone else, we are a great balance for each other, and we complement each other so well.  He is very honest, supportive and very dependable.  When we can’t be together which is often because he is working on a ship right now, even when they are not deployed they are out to sea for trainings, he finds ways to stay connected with me.  It might be leaving notes around our place that I randomly find, sending a quick email or having a friend of his check up on me and take me out to dinner.  Regardless of the ways he does it, he is very thoughtful and sincere in what he does.

 

My Parents

My parents have been married for just over forty years and are wonderful role models.  I am pretty close with them and talk to them often.  They have had to work hard for everything they have and have always pushed me to do things they did not have the opportunity to do, like go to college.  They still live on the east coast in Massachusetts and although I haven’t lived with them since I graduated high school in 1999 this is the farthest I have lived away in San Diego, California.  Due to the distance our relationship has changed because it is mostly dependent on phone calls.  We try a few times a year to see each other and often send cards and care packages of the local goodies to each other. 

 

My Best Friend

I met my best friend right out of college in 2004, we were co-teachers in a toddler classroom.  Our friendship grew from a mutual love of working with young children and also on how well our working styles complemented each other.  We started spending time with each other outside of work and learning more about each other’s personal life.  We were in each other’s weddings and eventually both ending up working together again at a charter school.  Danielle also ended up marrying someone in the military and is now stationed in Mississippi.  Distance is again a challenging factor in maintaining relationships but luckily technology has helped fill in some of the gaps.  We talk, text often and send each other lots of pictures.  I am hoping to make it out to Mississippi in September for her daughter’s first birthday. 

 

The Newport Crew

I have a group of friends that we all refer to each other as “The Newport Crew” basically because we all met in Newport, Rhode Island.  My friend Melissa and I started a run club in Newport and the rest is history.  We all originally came together to run and it grew in to a group of friends that are like family.  We met at all different points in our lives but all of us looking for some kind of change.  Looking back at when we were all there is bittersweet because the memories are so wonderful but I know we will all never be in the same area like that again.  Many of the people in our group have married since so we are able to see each other at those milestone events and during the holidays we do a long distance secret gift swap.  One of the friends from the group married my husband and me.  We often plan vacations and trips to visit each other, we all acknowledge the importance of being able to see each other at least once a year. 

  

My Military Spouse Friends

It is really a wonderful feeling to know that I know have friends all over the world.  The relationships that military spouses build with each other is unlike any other relationship I have ever known.  We move to areas where sometimes we do not know anyone and that can be very overwhelming combined with the fact that you also do not know the area which is now considered your home.  I have met some of the most amazing spouses who are so open and invested in being there for others because they know how it is.  It is often the older more senior spouses I have found who jump right in introducing themselves and take you under their wing.  Without having to explain how you feel and the emotions that being a Navy spouse can bring, you have spouses that just get you.  I joined a local Navy officer’s spouses group when we first moved to San Diego and now I am a board member.  The relationships are very fast paced because we do not have much time with each other before someone is moving to a new station.  For as much as we say goodbye to people it does not get easier, however the hope that our paths will cross again keeps our spirits high.

 

Mojo

Last but not least I have to include my dog, Mojo.  I show dogs as a hobby but he is my baby that my husband has also grown to love.  Right now he is snuggled up in my lap as I am typing.  I love that he is always there and happy to see me.  He also makes me get outside and exercise on days that I might not want to.  I can’t imagine not having him here especially when my husband is away.  San Diego is very dog friendly and we take him a lot of places with us, having that similar connection with people has also lead to friendships. 

 

 In all my relationships (with people) even my husband, distance is the challenging factor.  It comes down to taking the time and calling or sending a card or care package to show the person that you are still there and care.  I am very thankful of technology and the ways in which I can still feel connected to people who are so far away.  Through social media like Facebook I can still see pictures all the time of the people I care about.  By reflecting on the important relationships in my life and what the factors are that contribute to them, it makes me more aware of what is takes to establish and maintain a high quality relationship.  I understand that these relationships do not just happen overnight that it is a process but a very rewarding process that affects many people.  Every relationship was started on some kind of similarity which made it easier to be comfortable with one another.  No matter how important technology is in keeping and enhancing a relationship there is nothing that can replace the importance of face to face interaction. My relationships teach me lessons, even my dog has showed me that being happy and welcoming is very powerful, it makes people feel comfortable and happy.